Never Let You Go
by cress26
Summary: After the Cabal have been defeated, are Liz and Red ready to let each other go?


Never let you go

Summary: After the Cabal have been defeated, are Liz and Red ready to let each other go?

Rating: M

Thank you to my wonderful beta-reader Heather Peters!

Liz had stopped to question where and why Red would take her while on the run a long time ago. It had taken her a while to accept this, especially in the first few days when fear, confusion and the looming darkness of all her actions had threatened to swallow her whole. But every place had served a purpose, if not to hide, then to unwind and take a breath.

Their movements had slowed down significantly in the last two weeks after they had managed to bring down the major heads of the Cabal, the Director and Mr. Solomon. The showdown had been a bloody mess on every front, but all what mattered in the end was that Red and Liz came out of it alive.

The journalists who Red had filled in about the Cabal, had made progress in uncovering their power, irregularities, conspiracies and terrorism worldwide. Countless documents were recovered, exposing members and planned attacks. The organization was deadly weakened now that there wasn't much left of it.

#####

Red had taken her to Europe, somewhere near the coast of the North Sea. They had moved into a lovely, comfortable beach cottage, hidden in the dunes and close to the beach.

Red appeared in a pensive mood and Liz assumed that despite having eliminated the major threat, there was still enough going on that had Red worried. After settling in, he suggested an exploration of their surroundings.

"Let's go for a walk, Lizzie. We need to talk."

They strolled along the upward path through the dunes until they could see the ocean while enjoying a gentle breeze of clear, crisp salty air. A bank of threatening storm clouds cloaked the sun, turning the sky into an amazing canvas of light and dark. The broad expanse of water and sky made Liz gasp. She stopped momentarily to soak it all up, the beautiful scenery, the spectacular lights, the sound of the waves and the limitless horizon.

Red smiled as he watched her.

"There are times when you look upon nature's beauty and realize that there are still wonders in this world that happen every day and we need only to open our eyes to see them."

"Red, this is incredible!"

He guided her to a small bench and they sat down, watching their surroundings for long minutes.

"I brought you here to tell you that you're free."

Liz jerked her gaze away from the overwhelming view and turned to look at him.

"What do you mean?"

Red clasped his hands on his lap.

"The FBI has dropped all charges against you, Lizzie. You're free. We've gathered enough evidence to prove your innocence. We've brought down the Cabal, and basically, saved the world."

She stared at him, unbelieving. She hadn't expected this development, and rose from the bench, looking out at the sea again. Her mind raced, then blurred. When she started to shake, Red rose as well.

"Oh my god …"

She turned and flung herself into Red arms, allowing the tears to fall as Red settled her protectively against his shoulder. Strain eventually left her, replaced by a sense of relief.

"Donald promised to send all your papers within the next few days so that you can return. The FBI even offered you a job, a teaching proposal at Quantico."

"I can't believe it …"

He turned her around then to let her face the sea again but held her hips close to him.

"Believe it, Lizzie! There's a future waiting for you open as wide as this ocean and endless as this sky."

Tears spilled down her cheeks at his words. This all felt like a dream.

"What about you, Red?"

He nodded, tilted his head.

"My immunity is back in place."

He laughed.

"That's more than I'd hoped for."

He pulled her closer against him and they remained close for a long time, watching the waves hit the shore, until she calmed down.

#####

Dinner was quiet that evening. Liz still tried to process it all, while Red wasn't in the mood to tell his usual stories. If he was happy for her, why wouldn't he show it? His silence irritated her.

She couldn't sleep. She was too exhilarated and too relieved to let sleep become an option. Yet Liz was concerned about Red's behavior too. He seemed distant and contained, and if she didn't know any better, sad. She'd never seen him like this before and it worried her.

Thirsty and restless, she rose and quietly tiptoed out of her room and along the corridor to the living room, then abruptly stopped. Red was standing by the large terrace windows, dressed in his black satin pajamas and gazed at the dunes outside. He was completely unaware of his surroundings and deeply lost in thoughts; it was obvious sleep had eluded him as well. The moonlight illuminated the handsome lines of his face and her heart fluttered at the sight of him.

Her breath caught in her throat when she saw a single tear running down his cheek. Stepping closer, she allowed herself to study him, then realized how tense he was. His face was a picture of emotions. It was obvious he struggled for control, fought to suppress more tears. Transfixed she watched him, thinking criminals just don't cry, do they? Red always seemed so inapproachable and she wondered what had caused his despair.

For years she'd resisted her feelings for him, had made excuses why she shouldn't allow herself to let him in, yet seeing him this distressed made her heart ache for him. She couldn't help feeling guilty, even wondering what price he had to pay for their freedom this time. Had she ever thanked him enough for all he'd done for her? She needed to know.

#####

She startled him out of his reverie when she carefully wrapped her arms around him from behind. He immediately tried to untangle himself from her, but she wouldn't let him, held him firmly in place.

"What's wrong, Red?"

"Lizzie, don't …"

His voice was thick and hoarse with emotions.

"Tell me, please …"

To prove her point she scooted closer against his back in comfort but he just sighed and hung down his head. It was then that it hit her.

"You're leaving, aren't you? You're not coming back to Washington with me?"

He shook his head and took a deep breath.

"No, I won't. It's time to let you go, Lizzie. You're free to start over and to make your own choices. This is your exit from the darkness, you can leave everything behind, it all doesn't matter anymore. Your world is full of possibilities again. Your fantasy about a life with a husband and a child can come true. Maybe even a life with Tom, I know he still hovers close by in case you change your mind; he obviously loves you very much."

He swallowed hard at the thought.

"I fulfilled my promise to protect you, to take care of you. I have finished this journey after 27 years. There were times I thought this day would never come, that I would never be able to give you back the life you deserve. But now your enemies are gone, no one is looking for you. My deed is done and there's no purpose or reason to stay any longer. I'll leave your life now as suddenly as I entered it."

"Was I just an obligation to you?"

Tears welled up in Liz's eyes. She couldn't believe what he had just said.

"Is that what you really want, to leave?"

The non-responsive reaction Red gave her scared her to death.

"Answer me!

"Red!"

He closed his eyes and took another deep breath, fighting tears. This was proving much more difficult than he had thought.

"No, of course not."

It took all her strength to turn him around to face her.

"Look at me please."

Liz brought up her hands and cupped his cheeks while their eyes finally locked.

"I don't want you to go, Red."

She never knew this until the moment she had vocalized her thoughts, and grew numb with the realization.

His voice, sounded tired, resigned.

"It may have started out as an assignment, but then, everything changed, you know that, Lizzie.

"And there hasn't been a time that I haven't loved you since. I took care of you and worried about you when you were a child. I was so afraid someone would find you, find out who you really were. I was pestering Sam constantly for updates on your well-being, would even call him in the middle of the night.

"I laughed about your cheekiness as a teenager, was proud of you when you finished college. I knew I would be in serious trouble the day Sam told me about your plans to join the FBI. I was not surprised how easily you passed Quantico. I grew to admire you greatly.

"I crushed you the day you rammed that pen into my neck."

He paused, struggled to continue.

"And I fell in love with you so hard the day I had to save you from the Stewmaker, when for the first time, I was paralyzed with fear at the thought of losing you forever.

"But all of that doesn't matter now. I brought so much pain and loss into your life. How could you have possibly developed any feelings for me other than rejection? You fought me right from the beginning, you lied to me, you betrayed me, you yelled at me, I had to put up with your rude behavior for almost a year and still I loved you more than you can ever imagine. But you need to go and live your life now. Live your fantasy, Lizzie, without me, even if it kills me. It's time."

He loved her. She knew this of course, but hearing the words minus a fancy story for cover was something else. Every suppressed feeling for him now bubbled up to the surface unchecked and it was time for her to be as honest as he'd been.

"I'm not going anywhere, Red. I want… I need you to stay. I want you in my life, because … I love you too."

"Lizzie …"

He closed his eyes, pulled away from her hands and struggled hard to believe her words.

"This can't be what you really want. There is no place for me in any form in your future."

Lizzie shook her head, her voice thick with emotion.

"That's where you're wrong! How could I not fall for the man who's loved me so unconditionally for so many years? Don't even think for a moment that I didn't notice it. I'm a profiler, remember?

"I always longed and wished for someone with true feelings and true intentions. Someone who doesn't need to fake a future together. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize that the person was right in front of me all the time and that the person certainly isn't Tom.

"I fought you so much because I was scared. I didn't trust you because of all your secrets and yet I always turned to you. You were there when I needed you most and even though I kept the lid on my feelings for you so tightly screwed, you were always a part of my fantasies. Being on the run with you, I was able to get a glimpse on what was possible, despite all the danger. It's something I want to continue, to be with you."

She cut through his shielded reserve like a knife and he was stunned how easily he let her dismantle layer after layer of his restraint. Taking hold of his face again, she slowly closed the remaining distance between them and searched his lips for a kiss.

He pulled her closer and instantly deepened the kiss, his tongue gently invaded her mouth, forging a raging fire of desire inside both of them. They broke apart to catch their breath and she looked at him in wonder.

"You have to stop making sacrifices and compromises at your expense, I want and I need you to be selfish when it comes to me, Red. I need you to want me, in every way, because I'm going to have you, starting right now."

He captured her mouth again. With one quick twist he turned her and pressed her heavily against the large window. His kisses were deep and dizzying, her hands raked up and down his back under his pajama top, carefully avoiding his scars. They both moaned as arousal lashed through them, she felt him harden against her and that sensation alone was enough to stir the familiar throbbing pull between her legs as blood rushed through her veins.

His hand somehow found his way under her nightgown, his fingers gently touched and caressed her breasts, then toyed with her nipples. He rubbed himself against her unconsciously, completely lost and helpless in his passion, overwhelmed by her beauty and their closeness. He suddenly broke the kiss, his whole body trembled violently and she felt him twitch against her thigh, groaning her name. She steadied him by holding him in her arms, reveling in the shudders that ripped through him for a long time.

If he was embarrassed he didn't show it. Red wasn't afraid to lay open his true feelings for her. It thrilled her to have this power over him, to make him come undone like this so fast and so uncontrolled. He must have needed her so intensely for far too long.

She smiled at him affectionately and took his hand.

"I want you in my bed, Red."

She guided him to her bedroom as anticipation and desire spread throughout her body. She lit the bedside lamp and a soft glow filled the room. She smiled at him when he pushed her gently back against the bedcovers. He joined her on the bed and his fingers slid down her thigh to gather up the hem of her nightgown. She shifted so he could lift and pull it off of her with ease. Her panties followed suit.

He paused and took her in, his eyes darkened in want. She was magnificent and he yearned to touch her. He undressed himself swiftly, throwing his pajama bottoms to the floor. Liz, mesmerized couldn't drag her eyes from him. He was a handsome man, confident in the beauty of his body, despite all his scars and flaws. Already half-hard again, his maleness was overwhelming in its size and power and intensified the maddening ache between her legs.

He claimed her mouth hungrily and the sensations of his fingertips moving so skillfully over her soft warm flesh made her shudder. He touched and tasted her everywhere, driving her crazy when he trailed hot open mouth kisses down her neck and down to her breasts. With lips and tongue he teased them to aching attention. He flicked his tongue over the sensitive peaks, first one then the other, before suckling them in turns.

Every touch enflamed her, so much so that she arched up to meet him, desperate to feel more of him. Her hands explored too. He was hot and hard, the muscles bunched out beneath her hands as she roamed over his back and his sides. She stroked his chest, her fingertips tangled in the nappy hair and grazed his flat nipples. He hissed her name between clenched teeth before claiming her mouth once more. When she felt his hands on the inside of her thighs, she opened for him immediately and his fingers moved over her and parted her slick folds to touch and tease her. His fingers danced over her with skill, leaving her moaning and gasping for air. A long finger entered her and pressed deep inside. She uttered his name; she couldn't do anything but feel, losing herself in the sensual onslaught.

Red parted her legs with his thigh, kissed her and suckled her breasts in turns again, while she found him hard, hot and pulsing and just touching her where he would enter. But not yet. They stroked, caressed and nipped until they were both taut and quivering in need. Her hands finally circled him then, rubbed him against her and with one sure thrust he slid inside her, filling her completely. He was deliciously long and thick, just like she had always imagined. They moaned in unison as he started to move, pulling out, then plunging back deep in. He felt so wonderful inside, his movements so gentle, the friction and stretch filling her with indescribable pleasure. Much to his surprise he felt Liz tighten around him. Just a few thrusts and she fell over the edge, as fast and helplessly as he had earlier.

When she had calmed down she found him above her still, he had braced his hands on either side of her, stiffened his arms, lifting his weight completely off her. Their only point of contact was where their bodies were joined. He was still gently moving inside her and he looked down at her in awe and adoration.

"Tell me, Red, do you ever want to give this up? To be with me, to touch me, to be inside of me, in favor of me and another man? Maybe evenTom?"

He growled and tried to mask his emerging rage at her words, but when he pinned her beneath him then, his weight now fully on her and started to thrust hard and fast into her, she knew he was terribly upset and provoked. It was exactly what she wanted.

"I won't let you go! You are mine!"

He wasn't rough but he wasn't gentle anymore either. Relentlessly he buried himself deep inside her, hard and hungry, pummeling her in abandon.

Seeing him lose control, to claim and possess her this way felt incredibly satisfying. Liz wrapped her arms around him, moving with him, her hips rising to meet every powerful thrust, her thighs squeezing him even closer.

Red was mindless with pleasure and incapable of holding back. He was harder and thicker than he'd ever been, causing her inner walls to clamp around him like a fist, rubbing and milking him, and still demanding more. He didn't want it to end, didn't want her breathless eager pleas to stop, but he was so close and he needed her to follow him over the brink. He angled her body to stroke her most sensitive spot, and the pleasure built higher and higher, her body was no longer her own, but his, completely under his command. He kept surging into her until he felt her shudder violently as she contracted and rippled around him in ecstasy, taking him with her. His hoarse cries mingled with hers, he threw his head back and emptied himself deep inside of her.

Liz clung to him shamelessly as he rolled off of her, tucking her body into his. She buried her face in the warmth of his chest, listened to his rapid breathing and felt his heart beating fast under his skin. The slightest touch of him would still make her tremble, still so sensitive in her aftermath.

#####

He had lit a dozen candles in the bathroom, then filled the large bathtub for her the next morning. She climbed inside and completely relaxed into the warm water, letting her long blonde hair flow over the side of the tub. She sighed in utter contentment and almost didn't hear Red come into the room. He was nude, and already hard.

"Mmm, this is wonderful."

She purred and gave his beautifully curved length an appreciative squeeze.

Without a word, Red knelt beside the tub and began kneading the tension from her neck and shoulders. God, that man was so good with his hands. She reclined in the water and when her muscles were as limber as the water around her, Red shampooed her hair and massaged her scalp while she cooed like a baby. He soaped up his hands and gently washed every inch of her naked skin, ran his long fingers down the soft skin of her belly, along the inner surfaces of her shapely thighs, down her legs and to her feet. He took extra time when he reached her breasts and parted legs. A rush of sexual tension flowed from her head to her toes as his finger circled her most-sensitive bud.

"You're so beautiful, Lizzie."

He looked at her, his eyes heavy, and dilated with arousal and admiration.

He had taken her twice more that night and still she was unable to get enough of his touch. He was an amazing lover. Liz had always thoughts he'd experienced pleasure before, but making love to Raymond Reddington was a special treat. He was extraordinarily skilled and gentle, knowing instinctively what she wanted and needed to bring her pleasure and satisfaction.

Liz wrapped her hand around his neck and tugged his head down for a kiss.

"Why don't you join me?"

In no time he joined her, then pulled her on top of him.

"Come here."

His arms tighten around her, urging her to rest against his chest, their legs entangled. A wet strand of hair caught in her mouth and he pulled it aside. He licked several droplets of water off her cheek and nipped at her jawline before he kissed her again. She then slipped a hand between their bodies, wrapped her hand around his erection and gently stroked him in the water.

"I want you."

He was hard and hot and he pulsed in her hand at her ministrations. She slowly guided him inside her then, let him stretch her and fill her up to the hilt. Her skin above the waterline was covered with goose bumps making her quiver and moan with lust.

He watched her taking her time, using her weightlessness to test every angle as she slowly rose, then lowered herself again. She arched against him and he cupped her buttocks to support her. Their eyes locked; Liz loved the look on his face, raw and needy.

"You feel so good, Lizzie."

She moved slowly for long minutes, both content to just feel each other. The warm water however had flushed away most of her wetness by now, making movement increasingly uncomfortable. Sensing her trouble he let go of her butt and let his thumb circle and brush over her engorged clit.

She groaned and closed her eyes at the sensations.

"Red, are you close?"

"I'm fine, sweetheart."

"Red!?"

"It'll be fine, just let go."

He increased the pressure and it was all it took to make her cry out her release. Watching her coming above, feeling her inner walls gripping him so tightly was all he needed to join her and he knew it.

#####

The next three days they found themselves lost in bliss. They took long walks along the beach, he spoiled her with cooking, they laughed and cuddled, their need to touch and make love never waned. Their togetherness provided so much comfort after all the dreadful months on the run. She absorbed his affection and love, which had scared her in the past, so easily now and allowed him to heal her that way.

Only when her papers arrived the grim reality brought them down back to earth. Looking at her passport, Liz burst into tears.

She hadn't decided yet what to do. Should she accept the teaching offer? As tempting as it was, she knew she would never leave Red behind, especially now that everything had changed.

Red led her to the couch, sat down and pulled her onto his lap, holding her close. He had quite an idea about her conflict, he too still feared losing her, despite what happened.

"We need to talk about this, Lizzie."

She nodded and sniffled against his chest.

"I may be a free man in the United States, but that doesn't mean I'm free of all my enemies. There are enough people on this planet who would like to see me dead rather than alive."

"How about we reverse roles? Let me take care of you, protect you and love you for the next 27 years? We were always a good team and you deserve as much, Red."

"I'll never allow you anywhere near my business, Lizzie. I'll never put you in that kind of danger ever again. Please consider the teaching offer."

Liz felt rejected and it took all her strength not to shatter in front of him. So apparently he still didn't want her to be part of his life after all.

Hurt and angry she tried to get up from his lap to turn away, but he held fast to her.

"So, you're giving us up, just like that, after everything that happened?"

"No I'm not. I've realized that defeating the Cabal and having you, is the closest to redemption and to a second chance as I can ever get. I'm tired and I'm not getting any younger. Maybe I should just quit."

He paused and looked at her imploringly.

"I need some time to unwind my business, to cut me loose from assignments and associates so that eventually I'd be able to settle down with you without fear…

"…if you still want to have me then…

"I love you, Lizzie."

Relief washed through her and she fell back against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close.

"I love you too, Red. I'll never give you up again.

#####

They stayed another three days, before they packed to return to the States.

"Are you ready to leave?"

Red hold out his hand in reassurance and Liz took it, giving it a squeeze.

"I will be."

She sighed and had a last look around. Her gaze lingered at the windows where they shared their first kiss.

"We can always come back here whenever we want, Lizzie … I bought this house."

"What? Really?"

"Yes, I want to own the place where we made special memories together.

"I've also purchased another apartment, that one will be home, our home."

A strangled sob escaped her throat. There really wasn't any doubt anymore how much they belonged together. It would all work out, she was sure. Red closed the door and they stepped out into their future, together.

#####

Duty brought them together, fate bound them together, now love would keep them together.

Always.

The End


End file.
